Et tu, GOP?

 

the sign reads “et tu, GOP? Teachers have been betrayed!” as part of North Carolina’s Moral Mondays.

Photo courtesy of NC Policy Watch.

Mother Love

PaganBlog Project - Week Ten - E #2 – Eating

“Of Gaia we sing… 

Queen and goddess, we invoke you:

 you are all-powerful and our needs are so small.”

I recently had the honor of partaking in a very beautiful, holistic ritual with some lovely ladies who really mean a lot to me. A lot of us are working through the book The Goddess Path by Patricia Monaghan. Our first meeting and ritual was focused on Gaia, and we discussed the concepts of abundance, guilt, and love. We also talked a lot about food. How else could we devote a ritual to Gaia without talking about and partaking in food?

We shared our stories of food over a delicious meal. We talked about our obsessions and apathy regarding food, of giving too much and having too little. We discussed our desires for more, our guilt at having too much, the mixed messages we receive in regards to “just enough.” We talked about how our childhood relationships with food and eating have shaped our adult perceptions, for better or for worse.

And what I learned is that our relationship with food and eating is incredibly, stupidly complicated.

Because fat women can’t eat certain types of food without being judged.

And skinny women can’t eat certain types of food without being judged.

And when I order a steak and my husband orders a salad, they always try to give me his salad.

And organic and local food is so much more expensive than the “bad” stuff.

And being sustainable is not really affordable.

And what’s wrong with being fat, anyway?

And so on and so forth… etc etc etc

But eating is really important., not just because of the obvious reasons. It goes deeper than that.

We didn’t just meet for a ritual, but for a meal. When we meet with our friends it often has a meal component. Sharing our food and meals and eating together is a very primal ritual. I’m pretty convinced that sharing of food and community eating is probably the first ritual.

Think about it – you’re a cave-person. You’re hungry most of the time because food is hard to find. You’ll probably eat pretty much anything – plants, animals, nuts, bugs, etc. So, if you’re not hungry, you’re doing pretty well. Like, if you’re not starving, you know you’ve won at life, and that means a lot. And if you have enough food to share with your family and friends, well, that’s just awesome. Because if you have enough food to share, then you must be rich. And maybe you think the gods are the reason that you’re doing so well, so you hunt and kill that wooly mammoth and then you share it with your village and then you set aside some meat for the gods because why not? And maybe you share some with your neighbors, too, and maybe they start thinking that your gods are pretty great so maybe they’ll leave some offerings out for your gods, and isn’t it just great to get together for these celebrations? Maybe we should do it again next year. Maybe add some dancing or drumming or something.

Because if you like someone enough to feed them, that’s a huge gesture of trust. You’re taking food from your own body, literally. Because there were times in our human history when there wasn’t enough food to go around to feed everyone. So if you have extra food and you give it to someone, then you must be the greatest person ever. You trust them enough to give them your hard earned food, and you do it trusting that one day they might feed you, too.

So that’s why I think the rituals of communion and breaking bread were the first human rituals, and probably the most important. In this ritual context, food is joy, health, prosperity, trust, thankfulness, and love.

In our modern world we think we’re removed from that, but we’re not. Maybe we don’t think we’re honoring the gods when we go out with our girlfriends for sushi, but I like them well enough to share my dumplings with them, and that means a lot because dumplings are pretty awesome. I have enough abundance in dumplings to share with those ladies, and I love them so I’m going to show them that I love them by giving them some of my food.

And sometimes we love God so much we want to give God our food, too. And sometimes the food is the God, but that really isn’t as complicated as it might seem. Isn’t it great how Jesus can be the vine, the wine, the flesh, the blood, and the son of God, all at the same time?

Once the Gaia ritual was over I had eaten a whole plate of food plus two homemade cranberry scones and a pile of homemade jam, despite the fact that I have been trying to swear off carbs and sugar, which is everywhere and like, impossible to do. In our modern world our abundance is actually hurting us, and we’re still trying to figure out what that means. But I think Gaia, who is as big and fat as the earth itself, reminds us that abundance, true abundance, can be had without guilt.

Abundance is where we can eat well and be healthy. Where we can be sustainable and afford it, too. Where we can eat, drink, and be merry before we die. Where we can share wine to both Odin and Loki. Where we can eat a pomegranate and see the cosmos within. Where we can share delicious food and wonderful stories. Where we can have a ritual and a meal. Where food is both tasty and nourishing. Where we can be as fat or a skinny as we want. Where we learn from our mixed messages and mixed feelings. Where we are overflowing, our cups runneth over. When we don’t have guilt over how much we have.

Abundance is where we can honor ourselves, one another, and Deity. We truly have so much love to share and so many ways to share it. And we deserve that abundance.

The Hero

Last night I had a Doctor Who/Social Worker dream. 

I’m a huge fan of Doctor Who. I love the charm. I love the cheesy adventures (some of them.) I like a lot of the music, and many of the companions, the complex storylines, the epic hero cycle, the history of the television show itself… Doctor Who, what’s not to love?

Occasionally I have Doctor Who dreams, and they’re some of my most favorite dreams to have. Last night I dreamt I was a school social worker and monsters were eating the children. Through a complex turn of events, the Doctor (David Tennant) and Shadow Doctor from the TARDIS Past (Christopher Eccleston, and no, this is not a real Doctor Who thing, my dreaming mind made it up because Eccleston is my favorite Doctor) came and with their sonic screwdrivers, they zapped some library book shelves, got some monster aliens, and saved the day and the children and I was a very happy social worker indeed. 

But as the dream kept on going, I realized that my hand would turn blue every time it came close to Timelord technology, which could be found, surprisingly, in many places. And then the Doctor told me that it was because I had Timelord blood in me, too, which was why I aged so well and was so very clever. (ha!)

Upon waking, I stayed in bed with my warm blankets and pillows and cats and dog, reluctant to wake up and study and do flash cards and do my time sheets and go to my internship and think about discussion board questions and contemplate research questions and send my report for my prison visitation and all of these things. Wouldn’t I much rather stay in my warm bed and think about my adventures with the Good Doctor?

My social work adventures with the good Doctor? Where I have seemingly magical powers that help me be clever and defeat evil? Where I can save children and save the day and do all of those things I’d never, ever do in my own life? Because being a school social worker is hard, and honestly, I’m not very interested in that type of work. That’s like, social justice advocacy stuff, and I feel like I’m really not cut out for something intense and, well, hard, like being a school social worker. 

But if I were a Timelord, would it be different? There’s an internet game that goes around where you pick what type of Timelord you’d be. The closest item of clothing to you right now would be your signature item (mine is an old gray grandpa sweater), the last person to text you is your companion (mine is a spam text asking to me by girlfriend), and your job is your name. I’m a student right now, and being called the Student as a Timelord sounds like it has quirky potential. But in a few years it will be a Social Worker. 

The Social Worker.

Oh, here comes the Social Worker! She’s gonna manage all of our caseloads and advocate for client rights and say stuff like “how does that make you feel?” and “do you want to talk about it?” and “oh, that must be very hard for you” and “thank you for taking that risk. That was very brave.” 

The Social Worker.

And so I’ve been thinking about that all morning. How in my dream, with the Doctor, I was very brave. I wasn’t just brave fighting off monsters, but being a school social worker is a brave job, too. And I realize that I’ve been talking about certain types of social work like it’s not “for me” because I’m not very brave, and so many jobs in social work need brave people.

The juvenile justice track at my school? Oh no. I’m not cut out for that. That’s for those other people, not me. Working in a drug rehabilitation center? That’s for those other people. I’m not cut out for that. I’m not strong enough to work in a prison, and I’m not talented enough to work with people with schizophrenia. All I want is my nice clean private practice with nice quiet people who have something like depression or anxiety. Depression and anxiety? Those are monsters I can defeat. Anything more than that, like, a borderline personality disorder, well, that’s a monster I might need the Doctor to help me with. 

But in my dream, my hands turned blue when I came in contact with Timelord technology, and that was because I had a little bit of Timelord blood in me. And because of this, I was able to fight off monsters, too. I was able to work in something really really really hard like school social work. I could do it. In my dreams I could fight the big monsters. 

So maybe, just maybe, I do have a little bit of Timelord blood in me. And while I hope my hands don’t start turning blue, I hope I am able to use that strength and cleverness, the wisdom of the Timelords. Maybe I’m stronger than I think I am, and maybe I can fight even the biggest, scariest monsters. I don't want to be a hero, but I want to do a good job. I want to be an effective, meaningful, useful, competent person in whatever I'm doing.

The Social Worker! (in her ugly gray sweater)