Who Wants to Live Forever?

Pagan Blog Project - Week Eight - D #2 – Doctor Who

I have always loved science fiction, and Doctor Who is a great example of sci fi that embraces the human element. Cheesy, campy, goofy – sure. But also charming, heartbreaking, inspiring and wonderful. Just like the newest series of Doctor Who is an updated version of the old silly classic, the Doctor’s story can be seen as a re-imagining of mythology and folklore.

“He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and can see the turn of the universe. and... he's wonderful.”

Because we’re always telling and retelling stories, right? We’re always reinventing and recreating the same old stories because the same old stories mean a lot to us. Like the Doctor, stories have the same old heroes, just with different faces. So we create these stories and then pretend it’s weird when people Fan Girl about them, but myths and religions are just made-up stories, too. So what’s the difference between the Doctor and Odysseus? Jesus and Harry Potter? 

“Who am I then? Nothing...? I'm just a story?”

The Doctor is constantly waking up to realities of the universe all around him. As much as the Doctor has seen all of time and space, there is actually very little he knows about the grand scheme of things. 

“Turns out I've had the most terrible things happen. And the most brilliant things. And sometimes, well, I can't tell the difference. They're all the same thing. They're... they're just me. You know, Stephen King said once, he said, 'salvation and damnation are the same thing.' And I never knew what he meant. But I do now.”

The Doctor, although an alien called a Time Lord, struggles with his own humanity. He clings to it and loves it, is disgusted by it, can’t escape it, doesn’t want to escape, must escape. 

“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. Hey. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”

Life, to the Doctor, is a beautiful, wondrous gift and blessing. Heaven on Earth, because the Kingdom is here and now. And so is Hell. Tragic, terrible, and awesome. 

"Across the entire universe, never stopping, never faltering, never fading. People and planets and stars will become dust. And the dust will become atoms and the atoms will become... nothing. And the wavelength will continue, breaking through the rift at the heart of the Medusa Cascade into every dimension, every parallel, every single corner of creation. *This* is my ultimate victory, Doctor! The destruction of reality *itself*!"

He reminds us that You Are Not Alone. The loneliest man in all of time and space, and he’s not alone, and neither are you. 

“When you're a kid, they tell you it's all... grow up. Get a job. Get married. Get a house. Have a kid, and that's it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker. And so much madder. And so much better.”

And isn’t that what a religious life is all about, anyway?

“Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do then I should warn you, you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past; Aliens from the future; the day the Earth died in a ball of flame; It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: the trip of a lifetime.”

Staying Power

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I didn't post for the first day of D for the Pagan Blog Project. I have an outline and everything. But you know what? I just wasn't feeling it. Hopefully I'll resume my groove this Friday.

I'm trying very hard to not be too hard on myself. I struggle with focusing on my homework, getting behind, doing well, feeling guilty when I'm not working, and not getting anything done when I do work. I'm trying to get better about giving myself permission to take it easy sometime, rather than taking it easy out of desperateness and feeling guilty the whole time. I just gotta keep on keeping on, keep things in perspective, do the best that I can, and be okay with knowing that I can't be 100% perfect all the time. You know what? I don't think anyone expects that of me, anyway.

http://wumocomicstrip.com/

Or maybe I'm totally lying to myself...

So what have I been occupying myself with?

I drove in the snow on Saturday.

I took a nap on Saturday.

I went to an art reception for my good dear friend on Sunday.

I went to a Pagan study group last Wednesday.

I'll be going to a Pagan discussion group this Wednesday, as well as a Goddess ritual on Friday.

I went to a concert a few weeks ago.


I spent all day Friday at the Federal Prison.
 
I read Choke by Chuck Palahniuk on Sunday and Monday.

I read this great column post by my good dear friend about engaging in a multi-faith relationship.

I wrote my part of a literature review for an paper on child sexual abuse and sports.

I watched the movie Powwow  Highway and now I want to do anything I can to get back to Montana.

I tutored two little girls last night on math, fractions, reflective pronouns, antecedents, and food webs. One of them decided that I get to be a flower fairy.

I celebrated Imbolc this month and also participated in my first ever Druid ritual.

I have a new favorite song, which is just a remix of an old favorite song.

And today? Who knows what shenanigans I'll get myself into.

My Life Has Been Saved

Pagan Blog Project - Week Five - C #2 – Joseph Cambpell

 

In 2007 I found Joseph Campbell. My brand-new husband was living in a hotel in North Carolina, and I was in Texas, packing up the duplex and thinking about how my life was going to change so completely. (“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”) I’m a huge fan of documentaries, and I like to put them on in the background while I’m doing other things. I found an online video called the Power of Myth, It sounded like something I’d like, so I put it on, cranked up the volume, and put everything I owned into one box after another. 

Joseph Campbell was a folklorist and a scholar. He traveled the world and he gathered myths and stories from all corners of the globe. (“I don't have to have faith, I have experience.”) He wrote about the Hero Cycle and the Hero’s Journey and myths from all over the world. He inspired scholars and entertainers, writers and poets.

I was familiar with the concept of the hero’s journey because of a Greek myth class I had taken. That class was an eye-opening moment in my life, but that was during my pre-Pagan days, so I looked at the Hero’s Cycle with the eyes of an academic. (“The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light.”) It wasn’t until after a few years of intense religious and spiritual study that I was ready for the Hero’s Cycle.

That summer, with nothing but me and my boxes and all of my world’s possessions, Joseph Campbell changed my life. 

It wasn’t just learning about how the Hero’s Cycle manifests in myth, but little real world applications blew my mind. The concept that we are all heroes, all the time, on our own hero journey… wow. (“The experience of eternity right here and now is the function of life. Heaven is not the place to have the experience; here is the place to have the experience.”) I remember at one point I was in my living room and Brother Joseph said something so beautiful and profound and paradigm shattering that I just broke down and cried. 

It wasn’t until listening/watching the Power of Myth that I really began to integrate what I had been studying for all those years, that I was really able to internalize the ideas of interconnectedness, Oneness, forgiveness, cycles, beginnings, endings, integration, and all of these other details. It wasn’t until Joseph Campbell that myth changed from being something to read and think about with my mind, but also something I could feel with my heart. ("Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths.”)

I broke down and cried because I realized that I no longer had to reject my Christian background. I didn’t have to be a literalist when it came to religion. It was okay to worship the metaphor. It was okay to indulge in ritual and magic. (“All religions are true but none are literal.”) Joseph Campbell was my introduction into Gnosis and mystic Christianity, which prepared me for reading the Jesus Mysteries later that summer. 

It was Joseph Campbell who prepared me for reading thebible, for reading the Gnostic texts, for eventually earning my ordination into what would eventually become the Fellowship of the Sacred Path. He helped recognize my anger with Christianity, which helped me to forgive Jesus. (“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”)

Over the years I’ve tried to proselytize the gospel of Brother Campbell upon my friends and family, with varying success. And I’m delighted when I’ve encountered friends who have had a similar awakening to their own Hero’s Journey. (“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty 'yes!' to your adventure ”)

I realized I don’t have to be Perseus or Luke Skywalker to have my own Hero’s Journey. We’re all on our own Hero’s Journey all the time. We’re always in this glorious cycle of life, death, rebirth, journeying, underworld travel, dark nights of the soul, etc. (“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path.”) Myth reminds us that we are the heroes! And Joseph Campbell reminds us to follow our bliss, whatever bliss that might be. (“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”) And it will be glorious.

Dear Friends

Pagan Blog Project - Week Five - C #1 – Covens

 I like to brag that I was very lucky as far as my introduction to Paganism goes. When I was ready to really study and potentially practice the Craft, I was delighted to find resources all around me. Many of my friends knew Pagans or were Pagan themselves. A lot of the feminist theory I was reading applied to Earth Worship as well. Even my family was taking similar interests in Paganism. I remember with delight that my mom and I would often be reading the exact same books at the exact same time, unintentionally.

Not only did I have books and people to help me, but many of these people were in an organized group, a coven. The coven held public sabbats which were perfect for Baby Pagans. So, my first ritual ever was with the Serpents of the Vine, Midsummer 2005.

These people really had their stuff together. They had lots of experience and they all had lots of books and they’d pass them to me on a regular basis. Having an active message board online meant I could learn about the group, connect with the members, see upcoming events, and most of all, when I had stupid questions, they’d answer and help out. Through the coven I was able to participate in open sabbat rituals, open workshops, and even something simple and fun like Pagan coffee at a local shop. There was a community and a world opened up to me with the coven, even with only being an outer-circle person and not a member.

Through a system of me getting to know them, and them getting to know me, we found that we all liked one another. I was invited to a full moon esbat, and a few months later, invited to dedicate. With the dedication came a year of intentional study, mentoring, and real coven work.

Or course, having a coven has its ups and downs. There was drama, of course. Remember, Pagans are people, too! (and how!) There were breakups (with one another and the coven), gossip, cruel words, drama queens, people who took center stage, people who weren’t committed and didn’t do their work – all sorts of negative and toxic energy being spewed around by all of us, myself included. These things make it impossible to do magic with another person, but inevitably come up when you do magic with another person!

So what having a coven taught me was that it brings out the best and worst in people. It’s all part of being human, and Pagans are so very very very very human. (we almost make a religion out of it, don’t you think?)

I was lucky with my first coven, but I have dear friends who had horrible, scary first experiences. There are covens that abuse their members emotionally, sexually, and magically. For me, I was lucky. For others, they need to be smart.

I almost didn’t make it. We (the coven) almost didn’t make it. But I did, and we did. (Mostly/kind of.)

As people grow, change, and evolve, covens (should) grow, change, and evolve with them. And while I’ve moved away, and others have moved away, and others aren’t even Pagan any more, I still feel a connection with these people, a connection that I’ve never felt with anyone else (though I’ve come close, but different. Which is important to recognize as well. Different groups form different connections, and that energy takes on a different flavor. It’s different, but no less meaningful.) As a Baby Pagan, I needed a coven, but I also needed to move away from a coven in order to grow, too, in both my mundane and my magical lives.

And on my own in the big wide lonely Pagan world, I’ve learned that I had it very easy. When I went into my coven, they had already done all of the hard work. There was a system in place, with rules and tradition and protocol, and for the most part, it worked. It wasn’t until I was trying to start my own coven that I really, really appreciated this structure. It’s important to recognize, though, that some people and groups thrive under structure and some don’t. I guess I do. I’m lazy and I like it when people do all the hard work, and I just didn’t realize how hard it was help facilitate a coven until myself and others were trying to do it from scratch.

Not that my little coven was a failure. Far from it. I learned a lot, and it was a year of beauty and sisterhood and magic. While I don’t have a coven now, I have a group of women with whom I’m connected in a delicious, special way. What my experiment with covens has taught me is that being in a coven is hard. But they can be beautiful. At both their best and worst, covens can be a good way to learn and grow, and they can offer a way to facilitate those traits blooming in others, too.

Most of all, covens come in all different shapes and sizes. No coven I have now or in the future will be like my first coven, and I need to realize that. And what does or does not happen in my future will be unique and magical, and that’s special, too. That’s why we’re Pagan - so we can manifest our own destinies, magical and mundane, in whatever flavor we desire.