Well. It’s been the first week of the rest of my life, and I don’t even know what to write about.
I could talk about my brilliant cohort of amazing and smart classmates, who have inspired and awed me. I could talk about my charming, intelligent and funny professors who are endlessly knowledgeable and supportive. I could talk about my supervisor at the UU Fellowship and how she has been patient, helpful and so very kind. I could (and should) talk about my husband, who is mostly my best friend, who takes care of me even though I don’t like to admit that I need someone to take care of me.
I’m exhausted, sleepy, frazzled, and jittery. My mind is blown with information, anxiety and knowledge, and I have no idea how I’m going to make it through the next two years, even though I know they’re the most important two years of the rest of (this stage of) my life.
The lesson that I have been thinking about the most this week is the lesson of WHY. Why did I decide to do that? Why did I say that? Why did I think that way? Why did I not think about that thing before I said/did it? Why is that person that way, why do they live like that, why do they act like that, believe that, say that do that?
More and more I’m thinking about WHY. We all have motivations (or lack of motivations) and there is always a root and source for WHY. And I realize I’ve been living my life ignorantly, not really thinking about why, or trying to solve the answer to why.
Answering WHY is part of γνῶθι σαυτό, knowing thyself. And knowing yourself isn’t easy, and it’s not a one time occurrence. Knowing yourself is a process and an experience, and knowing oneself (or not knowing oneself) permeates every single area of our existence, from birth to death to beyond (probably? maybe?).
So my lesson of this week is WHY, and part of finding out WHY is knowing that the answer is multifaceted and not at all simple. Sometimes we’ll be surprised at what we begin to uncover, and sometimes we’ll be shocked, ashamed, embarrassed, or knocked off our socks with the hilarity and absurdity of the situation. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ask WHY.
Asking WHY is all part of learning, growing and knowing. And as a brand-new social work graduate student, I hope I am able to keep the lesson of WHY close to my heart, at least for the next two years!