13 August 2012

Who whooo is super awesome?

My Mutti and New Mexico family surprised me with a "welcome to grad school!" present this weekend, a ceramic scentsy owl. Everyone in NM has scentsy all over their houses, and I fell in love with these super cute, super efficient air fresheners. They heat scented wax at a very low temperature, which makes it safe for pets and children. You can also keep them on 24/7 because they don't get too hot, and they work great as a night light.

Mutti sent me some of her favorite scent, and the cactus reminds me of her and the desert. And of course, mine is an owl!

The timing couldn't have been better, because I had orientation this weekend! I still have trouble really wrapping my mind around the fact that I'm going to grad school. I'm a grad student!

Sometimes I'd stop and think about it, and I'd smile. I really did it! I got into graduate school! It really wasn't too long ago that I was having cocktails with my good friend, and we were both talking about our hopes and dreams, and she helped give me a lot of direction on what I wanted to do, really wanted to do. And soon I found myself looking at schools and programs, talking to Steve, and then I told my friends and then my boss. "I'm applying for graduate schools."

When I think about last fall, I think about freaking out about the GRE. When I think about last winter I think about getting letters of recommendation ready, paying for transcripts, filling out resumes, and five billion other little details that made applying for school incredibly difficult.

And when I think about last spring, I think about waiting. Waiting and waiting. I think about checking my emails ten thousand times a day, looking at graduate school message boards, finding excuses to go into the office at work as often as I could to look at my inbox. Waiting for that letter of acceptance. The joy and disbelief upon receiving such said letter.

Finally, it's the summer, and my summer has been consumed with... nothing. Reading, traveling, resting. It's been quite wonderful, this strange transition time. I've been out of sorts, a little anxious and lethargic, but that's the way of these things, misty and hazy.

In the meantime I've been telling people who ask about grad school "I'll believe it when I'm actually there."

And then, this Saturday, I was there. Well, almost. It was only orientation, but I was still in a classroom with my soon-to-be-peers, and my professors, at a desk. In a school.

I was so happy I almost started crying.

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